Give and Take

When I was China, I lost 8 precious days to be with my little boy. I miss him terribly. I miss his voice, his laughter, his hug and his cheeky face. It was a hard time trying not to think so much about him. It was even harder trying not to think what are the bad things that could happen to him. Will he fall sick? Will he climb out of the cot when hubby is in the shower? etc. etc. I called hubby a few times and the first thing I always asked was ‘How is Ethan?’ He assured me that everything was fine. Somehow, I did not ask him ‘How are you’? I just assume that he was ok because Ethan was ok. What a terrible wife I am.

A week after I returned home, I slowly realise that I actually gained something out of the trip. Something I think I will not get without this trip. I realise that hubby can actually take very good care of Ethan. Now, he can even tell me what to do and what not to do and what Ethan prefers. I felt very proud when he did that, seriously. Before this, I’m always the one who was telling him those things. Sometimes, I felt like I talked too much but at the same time I also thought that if I don’t tell him that, he will never know. I always think that he didn’t put much attention or thought on Ethan and that upsets me very often. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was the one who always wanted to take charge of everything. Now, for the very first time, I felt like some of my burden was lifted away. I felt more relaxed because I know that I can rely on hubby when it comes to Ethan. I’ve learnt to let go and be less rigid about things. Maybe he has his own ways of showing his care and love.

Love you guys!