I’ve been hesitating in posting this because it’s cruel. So cruel that it’s difficult to put in words. Difficult because it’s scary and it’s still clear in my mind. I think I better get this off my mind to somewhere else and the blog is the best place I can think of.
It’s a dream. A dream that woke me up 10,000km away from home, scared, lonely and home sick. On that stupid Thursday, I had a dream. I dreamt that I had reached home (even though the place was somewhere I’ve never been to and it felt like I was in the 1960s) and wanted to see Ethan desperately. I knew that day, Ethan was supposed to be with my mum because he’s there every Thursday and Friday. My mum told me he’s under the care of some distant- relative, of whom I know, because she's not well. So, I went there immediately, cycling. My mum and sis followed me, cycling as well. (What a $%^&*@# crazy dream!)
Then, once I reached there, I called out this distant-relative’s name and she appeared from the balcony on the first floor of a shop-house. I ran up the stairs carrying the bicycle on my shoulder. (It’s getting crazier now!) She opened the door and I saw Ethan crawling on the floor. I felt strange. Why is Ethan crawling since he likes to walk now? I grabbed him and hugged him and THEN, I SAW HIS EYES! Why were his eyes looked so weird, so small and half opened??? Suddenly, I realised…..(THIS IS THE MOST DIFFICULT PART FOR ME TO SAY AND MADE ME THINK MANY MANY TIMES BEFORE POSTING THIS STUPID & CRAZY DREAM)…….he’s BLIND. I cried and cried and cried….so badly that I woke up from my dream (Now you know why I had to swear at this $%^&*@# crazy dream). That kind of feeling was extremely terrible. It’s even worse when I realised that I had to stay a few more nights before I’m home and hugging my little one again. I thought of him every single day and that dream made it worse. Maybe it's telling me that Ethan was not ok.
After settling down for a few minutes, I sms my sis again. It’s 3am there and 8am in Malaysia. I told her that I dreamt of Ethan and cannot go back to sleep and asked her how was Ethan. She said Ethan had fever the day before but had recovered. I felt relief but sad. Relief that he’s ok but sad because I can’t be with him.
Actually the fever came back on Friday and Ethan vomitted and had diarrhoea too. His temperature shot up to 39.1C on Friday. I think it’s the highest ever recorded. My sis gave him a supp and hubby brought him to the paed. that night. After medication, Ethan had fully recovered by Saturday.
When I reached home on Monday evening (not Sunday as I thought, well, that’s another story), hubby and Ethan were in the room ready for bed. When I opened the door and switched on the light, Ethan immediately stood up and walked towards me and he gave me the SWEETEST SMILE and WARMEST HUG………
17 comments:
How awful to dream such things.. you poor thing, you must've been feeling so terribly sad! :(( and what awful fate to have the dream so far away frm your little darling too!!! glad you let this one out.... this might be the best thing for your system. please don't feel awful.. you're not to be blamed for the dream. we cant control our dreams! u're a great mom and ethan's happy face proves that
aiyo..ease down on travelling la if like this..maybe can negotiate with your boss kot?..ask that so-called 'travel-freako' to go instead. hahaha..
anyway, take care.
p/s: scary betul baca about your dream. esp that cycling back home part. ;-)
Hi BR--the positive thing is that it was just a dream. But I know they can be so unnerving. You may want to alter your situation if you feel so unsettled about it.
Take care.
babybooned,
must thank you many times for those kind and comforting words :-)
nadia,
tell me bout it again, it's originally 'dia' punya lah but couldn't go bcoz ada mission mar
it was freaking scary down the spine...worse than dreaming bout ghost
the new parent,
i've tried but will try harder now. thanks :-)
Oh dear. What an awful fream! Eeeekkkk... Thank god Ethan's better now.
yuck! must think about more cheerful stuff so that you won't feel too worry next time you travel.. too worry till dreamin such gruesome dream.
OMG so terrible dream but I like the last PIC!!!!! semua hilang liao when u see him laugh like dat!
nadia,
yeah.....
esther,
difficult ler
sasha,
hehe...ya lor
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