Jensen's age

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Ethan's age

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

28 September 2007

A Dream in Ukraine

16 months & 6 days old.....

I’ve been hesitating in posting this because it’s cruel. So cruel that it’s difficult to put in words. Difficult because it’s scary and it’s still clear in my mind. I think I better get this off my mind to somewhere else and the blog is the best place I can think of.

It’s a dream. A dream that woke me up 10,000km away from home, scared, lonely and home sick. On that stupid Thursday, I had a dream. I dreamt that I had reached home (even though the place was somewhere I’ve never been to and it felt like I was in the 1960s) and wanted to see Ethan desperately. I knew that day, Ethan was supposed to be with my mum because he’s there every Thursday and Friday. My mum told me he’s under the care of some distant- relative, of whom I know, because she's not well. So, I went there immediately, cycling. My mum and sis followed me, cycling as well. (What a $%^&*@# crazy dream!)

Then, once I reached there, I called out this distant-relative’s name and she appeared from the balcony on the first floor of a shop-house. I ran up the stairs carrying the bicycle on my shoulder. (It’s getting crazier now!) She opened the door and I saw Ethan crawling on the floor. I felt strange. Why is Ethan crawling since he likes to walk now? I grabbed him and hugged him and THEN, I SAW HIS EYES! Why were his eyes looked so weird, so small and half opened??? Suddenly, I realised…..(THIS IS THE MOST DIFFICULT PART FOR ME TO SAY AND MADE ME THINK MANY MANY TIMES BEFORE POSTING THIS STUPID & CRAZY DREAM)…….he’s BLIND. I cried and cried and cried….so badly that I woke up from my dream (Now you know why I had to swear at this $%^&*@# crazy dream). That kind of feeling was extremely terrible. It’s even worse when I realised that I had to stay a few more nights before I’m home and hugging my little one again. I thought of him every single day and that dream made it worse. Maybe it's telling me that Ethan was not ok.

After settling down for a few minutes, I sms my sis again. It’s 3am there and 8am in Malaysia. I told her that I dreamt of Ethan and cannot go back to sleep and asked her how was Ethan. She said Ethan had fever the day before but had recovered. I felt relief but sad. Relief that he’s ok but sad because I can’t be with him.

Actually the fever came back on Friday and Ethan vomitted and had diarrhoea too. His temperature shot up to 39.1C on Friday. I think it’s the highest ever recorded. My sis gave him a supp and hubby brought him to the paed. that night. After medication, Ethan had fully recovered by Saturday.

When I reached home on Monday evening (not Sunday as I thought, well, that’s another story), hubby and Ethan were in the room ready for bed. When I opened the door and switched on the light, Ethan immediately stood up and walked towards me and he gave me the SWEETEST SMILE and WARMEST HUG………


17 comments:

Nina @ BabyBoon said...

How awful to dream such things.. you poor thing, you must've been feeling so terribly sad! :(( and what awful fate to have the dream so far away frm your little darling too!!! glad you let this one out.... this might be the best thing for your system. please don't feel awful.. you're not to be blamed for the dream. we cant control our dreams! u're a great mom and ethan's happy face proves that

N a d i a said...

aiyo..ease down on travelling la if like this..maybe can negotiate with your boss kot?..ask that so-called 'travel-freako' to go instead. hahaha..

anyway, take care.

p/s: scary betul baca about your dream. esp that cycling back home part. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Hi BR--the positive thing is that it was just a dream. But I know they can be so unnerving. You may want to alter your situation if you feel so unsettled about it.

Take care.

TheBlueRanger said...

babybooned,
must thank you many times for those kind and comforting words :-)

nadia,
tell me bout it again, it's originally 'dia' punya lah but couldn't go bcoz ada mission mar

it was freaking scary down the spine...worse than dreaming bout ghost

the new parent,
i've tried but will try harder now. thanks :-)

Nadia said...

Oh dear. What an awful fream! Eeeekkkk... Thank god Ethan's better now.

Anonymous said...

yuck! must think about more cheerful stuff so that you won't feel too worry next time you travel.. too worry till dreamin such gruesome dream.

Sasha Tan said...

OMG so terrible dream but I like the last PIC!!!!! semua hilang liao when u see him laugh like dat!

TheBlueRanger said...

nadia,
yeah.....

esther,
difficult ler

sasha,
hehe...ya lor

Anonymous said...

I am the sort of hombre who passions to taste new things. Currently I'm fabricating my own solar panels. I'm doing it all by myself without the assistance of my staff. I am using the internet as the only path to acheive this. I came across a really awesome site which explains how to build pv panels and wind generators. The web site explains all the steps required to solar panel construction.

I'm not really sure about how correct the data given there iz. If some experts over here who have experience with these things can have a look and give your feedback in the page it would be great and I would highly appreciate it, cauze I extremely take an interest in [URL=http://solar-panel-construction.com]solar panel construction[/URL].

Thanks for reading this. You guys rock.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.dressaleuk.co.uk]prom dress uk [/url] It was a fairly quiet week and the count would have been smaller if it weren't for a quick trip to McKinnon Road in the Minesing Wetlands on Sunday. [url=http://www.zoeroad.com]princess prom dresses[/url]
[url=http://www.xmpllc.com]http://www.xmpllc.com[/url] widzqybo The transportation dictionary links to the servers which holds more effective and efficient information on the transport modes and the analysis made on each of the keywords used in them. isvpmome [url=http://www.mulberrylondonshop.co.uk]mulberry sale uk[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.dressaleuk.co.uk]prom dress uk [/url] I am allowed to live in their life and I allow them to live in mine. [url=http://www.zoeroad.com]girls prom dresses[/url]
[url=http://www.xmpllc.com]vintage wedding dress[/url] ualmooac In a way, this is good for the consumers because the appliances will have a lower price.. edptaxwf [url=http://www.mulberrylondonshop.co.uk]mulberry bags sale uk[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.bestdresseller.co.uk]short party dresses[/url] Amongst other things, he was largely responsible for the Factories Act (1833) and the Coal Mines Act (1840) which attempted to regulate the conditions of working children. [url=http://www.zoeroad.com]black prom dresses[/url]
[url=http://www.christianlouboutinosale.co.uk]christian louboutin outlet uk[/url] vnydyeuh It's impossible to diagnose a migraine headache. edsmutkj [url=http://www.mulberrylondonshop.co.uk]mulberry purse sale[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.dressaleuk.co.uk]prom dresses cheap online[/url] Namor rescues Rod, but Blackbeard manages to escape capture. [url=http://www.zoeroad.com]http://www.zoeroad.com[/url]
[url=http://www.xmpllc.com]wedding dresses vera wang[/url] yfbfctml Start with your most recent employment and highlight your major accomplishments and explain why you are well qualified for the position.. mthnasym [url=http://www.mulberrylondonshop.co.uk]mulberry mitzy bags[/url]

Anonymous said...

http://www.dressaleuk.co.uk The only value NFLX adds to the content is their "recommendation" system which based on my experience isn't even that great. [url=http://www.mitwhite.com]http://www.mitwhite.com[/url]
[url=http://www.xmpllc.com]homecoming dress stores[/url] tokgtfcl Next, she will look at the numbers rolled for possible sequences, being sure not to reuse any die in creating multiple sequences. lyjixlln [url=http://www.mulberrylondonshop.co.uk]mulberry handbags uk[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.bestdresseller.co.uk]1discount formal dresses[/url] Cas. [url=http://www.zoeroad.com]vintage prom dresses uk[/url]
[url=http://www.xmpllc.com]dress outlet shop[/url] fmozscel It's been years since I last watched the episode, but from my memory, after the first three dancers are credited, there is a note saying something to the effect of "appear with permission from the Royal Opera House". heennsfm [url=http://www.mulberrylondonshop.co.uk]discount mulberry outlet[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.bestdresseller.co.uk]formal evening dresses[/url] What going to most likely will be the distinction between Shearling Canada Goose Jackets, canada goose jackets following again Vests? Whenever you searching to shake on the maker unique jacket, cover, in addition to jacket, that you are xw880cc20120829 operate that you just take manifold variants to shock upwards from, based on producer together when using the distinctive glance seeing wanted.. [url=http://www.zoeroad.com]vintage prom dresses uk[/url]
[url=http://www.xmpllc.com]wedding dresses vera wang[/url] ptfajlzl There will never be a better time for you to "Think And Grow Rich" in Real Estate!. evzofbbv [url=http://www.mulberrylondonshop.co.uk]discount mulberry outlet[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.dressaleuk.co.uk]prom dress uk [/url] A warblerwatching trip here in May, with spring peepers and wood frogs serenading the birder, is highly recommended. [url=http://www.zoeroad.com]plus size prom dresses[/url]
[url=http://www.christianlouboutinosale.co.uk]christian louboutin uk[/url] hqmegpoa Not to be outdone, a group of developers wants to build "Bible Park USA" in the same city. eabhyftk http://www.mulberrylondonshop.co.uk