After abandoning my blog for so long, I don't know what to write now. So many things happened, so many things to update but so little time. For a start, I will update a video of Jensen laughing at the lion's roar (or maybe at me), which was taken on 10 November. It's a bit dark coz I drew down the curtain to make him nap.
Jensen's age
Ethan's age
20 November 2012
Jensen loves the lion
After abandoning my blog for so long, I don't know what to write now. So many things happened, so many things to update but so little time. For a start, I will update a video of Jensen laughing at the lion's roar (or maybe at me), which was taken on 10 November. It's a bit dark coz I drew down the curtain to make him nap.
29 March 2012
First Photo Shoot in the Studio
We went for our first photo shoot in the studio on 3 March. I have been wanting to do it since before I had Jensen and thanks to Groupon, we finally made it. It was a cheap package I bought from Groupon and I'm really happy with the results. Ethan was 5 years & 9 months old and Jensen was 6 months old when the photos were taken. The session took 1 hour and Jensen was already fussing after 30 minutes of photo shoot. My youngest sis said Jensen looks like a watermelon in the 1st photo. It is also the photo that I have chosen to be enlarged and framed up.
13 January 2012
My Breastfeeding Journey
I'm glad to announce that I have successfully breastfed Jensen for 4 months 1 week & 6 days now. My target is 6 months. I have brain washed myself before I was pregnant that I HAVE to bf my baby this time. I have failed miserably in breastfeeding (bf) Ethan. I bf Ethan for slightly more than a month and that was mixed with formula. It took me more than 9 months to set the target of 6 months. Now, I'm thinking maybe, MAYBE....I can bf up to 1 year.
It was tough at first, really tough. I knew it will not be easy but still, the thought of giving up is always there. Luckily, I have the support of colleagues and friends, who are also bf. Every time I feel like giving up, I will talk to them and then I will find the courage to carry on.
The first few days were critical. First, the tiredness/trauma after child birth. Secondly, the sore nipple. Thirdly, waiting for the milk flow. Finally, the infamous quote "You don't have enough milk, the baby is hungry". I went through the first 3 hurdles without much problem but almost lose the battle because of the 4th one.
My milk flow was slow for the first 4 days. The baby was fine with it as newborn does not require much milk but as his appetite grew, my milk flow didn't catch up with it. So, he was crying all the time on the 2nd night. Hubby didn't say anything against bf, so I took that as a supportive action but when baby cried non-stop on the 2nd night he did said "I think he's hungry or he doesn't get enough milk". That was the first blow. Then, the confinement lady came the next day and upon learning that I bf and hearing baby cried, she too said "He doesn't get enough milk". My mum too said I have to mix with formula after I told her that I slept less than 3 hours in total at night. My sis too said something similar.
I don't blame them and I know they meant well BUT I need their support to make bf a success this time. I gave in after hearing all the remarks and asked hubby to buy formula. I didn't prepare any formula at home because I don't want to be tempted. Jensen was fed with 2 oz of formula on the 3rd day and 1 oz on the 4th day. Luckily my milk came on the 5th day and I only fed Jensen a total of 3 oz of formula.
That was the first round of challenge during confinement. Then, the 2nd round of challenge is when I returned to work. The issue of taking time off to pump, finding a suitable place to pump and even storing create some minor headaches. I hate it when my breast engorge and the milk leaks. It was so painful and uncomfortable. Luckily, after the routine of pumping is set, the engorgement and leaky issue were only short term. Another headache is when I need to go out for meetings or attend seminars. I have resorted to pumping in the car, with the windows all covered of course and on top of that I had a nursing cover on. The other time, I had to ask the organiser to use their secretariat room and luckily, they allowed me.
I can say by now, I'm getting quite comfortable with bf, be it at home, at work or at the malls. I'm amazed to see my baby grows with my breast milk only. Sometimes, I was like I can't believe that the milk coming from me can make my baby grow so beautifully and healthily. The feeling is really wonderful. There's no regret at all and I'm glad I made the right decision.
It was tough at first, really tough. I knew it will not be easy but still, the thought of giving up is always there. Luckily, I have the support of colleagues and friends, who are also bf. Every time I feel like giving up, I will talk to them and then I will find the courage to carry on.
The first few days were critical. First, the tiredness/trauma after child birth. Secondly, the sore nipple. Thirdly, waiting for the milk flow. Finally, the infamous quote "You don't have enough milk, the baby is hungry". I went through the first 3 hurdles without much problem but almost lose the battle because of the 4th one.
My milk flow was slow for the first 4 days. The baby was fine with it as newborn does not require much milk but as his appetite grew, my milk flow didn't catch up with it. So, he was crying all the time on the 2nd night. Hubby didn't say anything against bf, so I took that as a supportive action but when baby cried non-stop on the 2nd night he did said "I think he's hungry or he doesn't get enough milk". That was the first blow. Then, the confinement lady came the next day and upon learning that I bf and hearing baby cried, she too said "He doesn't get enough milk". My mum too said I have to mix with formula after I told her that I slept less than 3 hours in total at night. My sis too said something similar.
I don't blame them and I know they meant well BUT I need their support to make bf a success this time. I gave in after hearing all the remarks and asked hubby to buy formula. I didn't prepare any formula at home because I don't want to be tempted. Jensen was fed with 2 oz of formula on the 3rd day and 1 oz on the 4th day. Luckily my milk came on the 5th day and I only fed Jensen a total of 3 oz of formula.
That was the first round of challenge during confinement. Then, the 2nd round of challenge is when I returned to work. The issue of taking time off to pump, finding a suitable place to pump and even storing create some minor headaches. I hate it when my breast engorge and the milk leaks. It was so painful and uncomfortable. Luckily, after the routine of pumping is set, the engorgement and leaky issue were only short term. Another headache is when I need to go out for meetings or attend seminars. I have resorted to pumping in the car, with the windows all covered of course and on top of that I had a nursing cover on. The other time, I had to ask the organiser to use their secretariat room and luckily, they allowed me.
I can say by now, I'm getting quite comfortable with bf, be it at home, at work or at the malls. I'm amazed to see my baby grows with my breast milk only. Sometimes, I was like I can't believe that the milk coming from me can make my baby grow so beautifully and healthily. The feeling is really wonderful. There's no regret at all and I'm glad I made the right decision.
My stocks by the 2nd month. At the highest, I have more than
80 bottles/packs (5-8 oz each).
80 bottles/packs (5-8 oz each).
25 November 2011
Jensen's First 2 Months (in pictures)
Picture paints a thousand words. So, I'll just let the pictures do the talking.
Sleepy time
Chill out time
First smile captured on camera
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
Bonding time
Mummy's favourite shot
Hungry-looking for milk
Favourite pass time
You'll only see his double eye lids once in a while
Full moon gift from grandma-a rabbit pendant set
Full moon gift from grandma-a rabbit pendant set
Play time
Sleepy time
Chill out time
First smile captured on camera
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
Bonding time
Mummy's favourite shot13 September 2011
Jensen James Is Here
Our little bundle of joy arrived on 31 August 2011 at 9.20am weighing 2.92 kg. My due date was 2 September but had a show in the morning of 30 August and admitted, induced at 2pm, and delivered the next morning at 9.20a.m.
Who ever said that the 2nd time around should be easier......no, it's not. In my case, the labour was longer and the pain was much much worse. I almost wanted to give up when I was 6cm dilated. With every contraction at the peak, I thought that it couldn't get worse but it just did and I was surprised a human being can go through such pain without passing out. I closed my eyes tighter and tighter with every contraction and when it was at the max, I couldn't believe that my eyes just pop open (against my will). I must have screamed too (I can't hear nor control myself at that time) so much so that I felt my throat was dry and sore after the delivery. But I remember myself crying at the peak of each contraction.
Like the 1st labour, I didn't opt for epidural, just asked for the gas and the pain killer jab. After all the drama, moaning (almost like screaming) and crying, baby Jensen arrived safely. Then, the cord snap leaving the placenta inside me. The doc had to call the anesthetist to numb my lower body so that she can retrieve the placenta by hand. I can't explain how relieved I felt after that, no more pain. Then I thought that I should have taken the epidural in the first place to save all the sweat and tears.
I felt so embarrassed after the delivery, thinking of how smooth the 1st delivery was and how well I handled that compared to this. The whole labour was like a dream to me, like I was outside my body, hearing all the conversations between the midwives, nurses, doctor and my hubby but I just couldn't respond nor control my body.
What I remembered clearly was I told the doctor "I don't want anymore babies after this".
10 August 2011
24hrs of Contraction but It's a False Alarm
Mummy is 36 weeks & 5 days preggie.....
Weird isn't it?
About one week before that episode of false alarm, I had contraction for 12 hours, which started on 28 July (34 weeks & 6 days preggie). We were watching the Malaysia vs. Singapore football match at home that evening. I started to feel the contraction at around 10pm+ and wasn't sure about that. So I observed for about 20 minutes and the pain is still coming at about 9 minutes apart. Hubby was still watching the match when I stand in front of him and told him to get the bag out from the wardrobe. He looked at me with eyes wide opened and said "baby coming out ah?" I said "I'm not sure but I feel the contraction". After taking the bag out, I started to pack the hospital bag and he continued to watch the match until finish. I told him later that it's still too early to tell but if it continues throughout the night, I need to see my gynae the next morning.
I only managed to sleep after 2am that night. So many things went round my head. Luckily, I have briefed my boss what are the outstanding things on my hand that need to be monitored. The pain was still there until the next morning at about 9 mins apart but there was no spotting and water bag is still intact. We went to see my gynae after sending Ethan to school. He did a scan on me and checked on the cervix. Baby was doing fine, weighed about 2.3 kg and his head is down but not engaged. Cervix is not dilated. He gave me a steroid jab (cannot remember the name) to strengthen the baby's lung, in case he decided to come out early. The baby is not yet full term and it's best to carry him to at least 36 weeks and his weight should be ideally above 2.5kg. The jab will also help to stabilise the contraction/womb and my situation should improve by 80% after the jab. I need to go back for the 2nd jab the next day. It was a darn painful jab in the @$$.
I was actually on leave that Friday, which I have applied 1 month ago coz I so so wanted to go to the Parenthood fair. Before going to the clinic, I told hubby over breakfast that I'm going to ask the doc if I can go to Midvalley later (he has agreed to go with me a week ago) and hubby quickly answered "you cannot go lar". I said "aiyah, let me ask first lar". Before I could say anything, my gynae already told me that after the jab, I should go home and rest, cannot go around and shopping. Wah, he can almost read my mind. So, I looked at hubby and just laughed. Darn....I'm so disappointed. Really disappointed. The contraction slowly faded away after the 2nd jab. I was given mc for 3 days (Friday, Monday & Tuesday).
The False Alarm
On 2 August (35 weeks & 4 days preggie), I had the 1st appointment with another gynae at UKMSC, where we have opted to deliver the baby. I waited for 2 months to see this gynae. Can't believe the waiting list is that long. I was so worried when I first experienced the contraction coz I was not sure if the specialist centre will accept me or not if I were really in labour before I see the gynae.
I was so relieved after the check-up. Firstly, I know I can surely be admitted there if I'm really in labour. Secondly, baby was 2.6kg with head down but not engaged. Thirdly, the hospital bag was packed. So, I can deliver anytime now without worries. I told the gynae about the contractions and the jabs I was given. She said things are under controlled and I can go back to work the next day.
That very same night, the contraction came again. We went to bed about 10pm+ and I started to feel it at about 11pm. Ethan and hubby were asleep and I didn't wake hubby up. Again, I have another sleepless night. I monitored the contraction until I dozed off at about 3am. It was 9 mins apart lasting about 5-10 seconds each. I woke up at about 6.30am. the next morning and the pain was getting stronger. I woke hubby up and told him about it but I still think it's too early to go to the hospital. I told him to go to work and I will send Ethan to school and then go to my mum's house to monitor the contraction. I will call him if there's anything.
The contraction was getting stronger and more frequent on that day, from 9 mins apart to about 5-6 mins apart in the evening. However, there was no spotting and my water bag did not break. I asked hubby to fetch Ethan after work and go to my mum's house for dinner before going to the hospital for a check. We had put the hospital bag in the car that morning. By the time we headed for the hospital at 8.30pm., the pain was quite intense. The MO checked on me and asked tonnes of questions. The CTG showed that I had contraction but not consistent. Baby's heartbeat was normal. Cervix was about 1cm dilated.
It was exactly the same scenario when I delivered Ethan 5 years ago - 12 hrs of contraction and 1cm dilation when I went to the hospital. Ethan came 3 weeks early, which makes me think this baby might come early too. After all, everyone has been telling me that the 2nd baby will come earlier than the 1st one. The only difference was that I had spotting after a few hours of contraction when I delivered Ethan. I remembered I can still walk to the ward when I was admitted last time, which means the pain was not that intense compared to this time, which I don't think I can walk to the ward.
After checking on me, the MO told me that it's too early to tell if I'm in labour. It could be Braxton Hicks contractions and I can choose to be warded or go home to wait. However, he will discuss this with my gynae first. I read many times about Braxton Hicks and all the resources said that Braxton Hicks contractions will go away after a while but mine didn't. He called my gynae, whom I just saw the day before and after discussing for a while, he handed the phone to me. I told her the contractions were getting stronger consistently from the time it started and she advised me to stay in the hospital for monitoring.
They wheeled me to the ward at around 10pm. and hubby stayed with me that night. I managed to fall asleep after 2am and throughout the night I was awaken by the pain but I gave up to check how far apart it was. I just wanted to rest as much as possible to gather energy for the labour. The nurse came and check the baby's heartbeat at 12 midnight and the CTG at 6.30am. the next morning. It showed that the baby's heartbeat was ok but the contraction was not that strong. I too felt that the contraction was further apart and slowly faded.
We waited for my gynae to come and by the time she arrived at 11am, the contraction has gone. I just didn't feel it anymore. I told her I'm confused. She said it happened and saw a few cases like that before. I can be discharged. She checked on my tummy and said the baby's head was not engaged. I felt so tired at that time, having to deal with the on-off contractions and sleepless nights. So I asked her if I can be induced but she said NO. I just have to wait.
So, here I am back to work and still pregnant.
Weird isn't it?
About one week before that episode of false alarm, I had contraction for 12 hours, which started on 28 July (34 weeks & 6 days preggie). We were watching the Malaysia vs. Singapore football match at home that evening. I started to feel the contraction at around 10pm+ and wasn't sure about that. So I observed for about 20 minutes and the pain is still coming at about 9 minutes apart. Hubby was still watching the match when I stand in front of him and told him to get the bag out from the wardrobe. He looked at me with eyes wide opened and said "baby coming out ah?" I said "I'm not sure but I feel the contraction". After taking the bag out, I started to pack the hospital bag and he continued to watch the match until finish. I told him later that it's still too early to tell but if it continues throughout the night, I need to see my gynae the next morning.
I only managed to sleep after 2am that night. So many things went round my head. Luckily, I have briefed my boss what are the outstanding things on my hand that need to be monitored. The pain was still there until the next morning at about 9 mins apart but there was no spotting and water bag is still intact. We went to see my gynae after sending Ethan to school. He did a scan on me and checked on the cervix. Baby was doing fine, weighed about 2.3 kg and his head is down but not engaged. Cervix is not dilated. He gave me a steroid jab (cannot remember the name) to strengthen the baby's lung, in case he decided to come out early. The baby is not yet full term and it's best to carry him to at least 36 weeks and his weight should be ideally above 2.5kg. The jab will also help to stabilise the contraction/womb and my situation should improve by 80% after the jab. I need to go back for the 2nd jab the next day. It was a darn painful jab in the @$$.
I was actually on leave that Friday, which I have applied 1 month ago coz I so so wanted to go to the Parenthood fair. Before going to the clinic, I told hubby over breakfast that I'm going to ask the doc if I can go to Midvalley later (he has agreed to go with me a week ago) and hubby quickly answered "you cannot go lar". I said "aiyah, let me ask first lar". Before I could say anything, my gynae already told me that after the jab, I should go home and rest, cannot go around and shopping. Wah, he can almost read my mind. So, I looked at hubby and just laughed. Darn....I'm so disappointed. Really disappointed. The contraction slowly faded away after the 2nd jab. I was given mc for 3 days (Friday, Monday & Tuesday).
The False Alarm
On 2 August (35 weeks & 4 days preggie), I had the 1st appointment with another gynae at UKMSC, where we have opted to deliver the baby. I waited for 2 months to see this gynae. Can't believe the waiting list is that long. I was so worried when I first experienced the contraction coz I was not sure if the specialist centre will accept me or not if I were really in labour before I see the gynae.
I was so relieved after the check-up. Firstly, I know I can surely be admitted there if I'm really in labour. Secondly, baby was 2.6kg with head down but not engaged. Thirdly, the hospital bag was packed. So, I can deliver anytime now without worries. I told the gynae about the contractions and the jabs I was given. She said things are under controlled and I can go back to work the next day.
That very same night, the contraction came again. We went to bed about 10pm+ and I started to feel it at about 11pm. Ethan and hubby were asleep and I didn't wake hubby up. Again, I have another sleepless night. I monitored the contraction until I dozed off at about 3am. It was 9 mins apart lasting about 5-10 seconds each. I woke up at about 6.30am. the next morning and the pain was getting stronger. I woke hubby up and told him about it but I still think it's too early to go to the hospital. I told him to go to work and I will send Ethan to school and then go to my mum's house to monitor the contraction. I will call him if there's anything.
The contraction was getting stronger and more frequent on that day, from 9 mins apart to about 5-6 mins apart in the evening. However, there was no spotting and my water bag did not break. I asked hubby to fetch Ethan after work and go to my mum's house for dinner before going to the hospital for a check. We had put the hospital bag in the car that morning. By the time we headed for the hospital at 8.30pm., the pain was quite intense. The MO checked on me and asked tonnes of questions. The CTG showed that I had contraction but not consistent. Baby's heartbeat was normal. Cervix was about 1cm dilated.
It was exactly the same scenario when I delivered Ethan 5 years ago - 12 hrs of contraction and 1cm dilation when I went to the hospital. Ethan came 3 weeks early, which makes me think this baby might come early too. After all, everyone has been telling me that the 2nd baby will come earlier than the 1st one. The only difference was that I had spotting after a few hours of contraction when I delivered Ethan. I remembered I can still walk to the ward when I was admitted last time, which means the pain was not that intense compared to this time, which I don't think I can walk to the ward.
After checking on me, the MO told me that it's too early to tell if I'm in labour. It could be Braxton Hicks contractions and I can choose to be warded or go home to wait. However, he will discuss this with my gynae first. I read many times about Braxton Hicks and all the resources said that Braxton Hicks contractions will go away after a while but mine didn't. He called my gynae, whom I just saw the day before and after discussing for a while, he handed the phone to me. I told her the contractions were getting stronger consistently from the time it started and she advised me to stay in the hospital for monitoring.
They wheeled me to the ward at around 10pm. and hubby stayed with me that night. I managed to fall asleep after 2am and throughout the night I was awaken by the pain but I gave up to check how far apart it was. I just wanted to rest as much as possible to gather energy for the labour. The nurse came and check the baby's heartbeat at 12 midnight and the CTG at 6.30am. the next morning. It showed that the baby's heartbeat was ok but the contraction was not that strong. I too felt that the contraction was further apart and slowly faded.
We waited for my gynae to come and by the time she arrived at 11am, the contraction has gone. I just didn't feel it anymore. I told her I'm confused. She said it happened and saw a few cases like that before. I can be discharged. She checked on my tummy and said the baby's head was not engaged. I felt so tired at that time, having to deal with the on-off contractions and sleepless nights. So I asked her if I can be induced but she said NO. I just have to wait.
So, here I am back to work and still pregnant.
18 July 2011
Cherating Revisited
Mummy is 33 weeks & 3 days preggie.....
Ethan is 5 years, 1 month, 3 weeks & 5 days old.....
My company organised a family day at Cherating and we stayed at the Legend Resort for 3 days/2 nights (8-10 July 2011). The first time me and hubby stayed there was in 2003, after our ROM. The timing for this trip was good as we get to escape KL. Otherwise, we will be stranded at home due to the rally.
Although I was 32 months preggie and knew it would be tiring to sit through a 3-hour journey, I was adamant to go because I want Ethan to have some fun before his little brother arrives. I don't think we will have any holidays for the next 6 months at least with an infant in tow. It was a right decision as we enjoyed the trip, especially Ethan. He participated in 2 of the games and won a chess set and I can see he truly enjoyed playing sand at the beach. Apart from that, there were a few memorable moments during the trip:
Yay!!! I can see the beach, the pool and had a keropok lekor in hand.
Checking out the beach shortly after checked-in.
Mark his territory?
Happily playing sand, wet or dry, under the blazing hot sun.
Sweets he collected in one of the games.
Trying his hand at batik painting.
The finished art work (with help from daddy and mummy).
Looking at the 1-week old turtles at the sanctuary.
Highlight of the event. Everyone was so excited
to hold and release a baby turtle each.
Mummy and her 2 babies.
The watch that mummy/daddy got
Ethan is 5 years, 1 month, 3 weeks & 5 days old.....
My company organised a family day at Cherating and we stayed at the Legend Resort for 3 days/2 nights (8-10 July 2011). The first time me and hubby stayed there was in 2003, after our ROM. The timing for this trip was good as we get to escape KL. Otherwise, we will be stranded at home due to the rally.
Although I was 32 months preggie and knew it would be tiring to sit through a 3-hour journey, I was adamant to go because I want Ethan to have some fun before his little brother arrives. I don't think we will have any holidays for the next 6 months at least with an infant in tow. It was a right decision as we enjoyed the trip, especially Ethan. He participated in 2 of the games and won a chess set and I can see he truly enjoyed playing sand at the beach. Apart from that, there were a few memorable moments during the trip:
- We got to hold baby turtles for the first time and releasing them to the sea.
- Painting batik for the first time.
- Mummy got a Tissot watch and a multi-purpose cooker for the lucky draw. Daddy was even luckier coz the watch is for men.
Yay!!! I can see the beach, the pool and had a keropok lekor in hand.
Checking out the beach shortly after checked-in.
Mark his territory?
Happily playing sand, wet or dry, under the blazing hot sun.
Sweets he collected in one of the games.
Trying his hand at batik painting.
The finished art work (with help from daddy and mummy).
Looking at the 1-week old turtles at the sanctuary.
Highlight of the event. Everyone was so excitedto hold and release a baby turtle each.
Mummy and her 2 babies.
The watch that mummy/daddy got
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